Upcoming shows:

  • 5/18, 10p @ Rye Bar, Athens, GA
  • 5/19, 8p @ The Cave, Chapel Hill, NC
  • 5/20, 5p ACOUSTIC SET! @ Between Books, Claymont, DE
  • 5/21, 7p @ Green Line Cafe, Philly, PA
  • 5/23, 8p @ Radio Bean, Burlington, VT
  • 5/24, 8p @ IOTA Club and Cafe, Washington DC
  • 5/25, 9p @ Blue Parrot, Wilmington, DE
  • 5/26, 10p @ Evening Muse, Charlotte, NC

Monday, March 23, 2009

Jack vs. Stick

"Stick? It was more of a log. Either way, wooden and begat from a tree," recounts Jack Craft in his version of the events of this past Saturday night outside Mandeville, LA. In a bizzare bonfire-building incident, Jack was wounded from a projectile fragment of conifer branch. Standard investigative procedures point to a relatively common wood-chopping error. Jack's account says otherwise. "[The rest of the band and I] were just sitting there-- we had just made a bonfire and were adding wood to it. We were drinking beers and telling stories and then-- out of nowhere-- damn stick hit me in the face." Accident? Think again. We believe this to be yet another instance of vicious stick-on-human crime.

We are currently on the lookout for a piece of wood 18-24 inches long, approximately 3 inches in diameter, probably hiding in the temperate, evergreen woods of northern St. Tammany Parish. Tips may be submitted anonymously by calling: 1-800-555-DAMNSTICKHITMEINTHEFACE. Help us fight the epidemic. Don't be another statis-stick.

1 comment:

  1. my friend once committed a vicious act of arbor on me.

    we were walking in audobon park with some friends on a lazy Saturday morning.
    she decided that she was going to jump up and swing from a branch. i was towards the end of the branch while she was closer into the tree.
    she jumped.
    she grabbed.
    she swung.
    She hit me in the face with a tree branch.

    there were abrasions, but sadly no scars. For with them I could tell my tale and warn others that these accidents aren't just something that you hear about in the news, that they happen to real people. People like me.